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Tuesday
May112021

Yep ... Stitch

Y'know, sometimes I question if I'm exaggerating the diversity of personalities around these parts, but then Mila goes and proves every point I've made AND THEN SOME. It's like she put on a show to demonstrate just how much Stitch action she could muster today.

In the span of four hours, she:

1. Locked herself in her bedroom so she could try to figure out how to dispose of a giant pile of candy wrappers after she snuck a big ol' bag of fun stuff out of the pantry. She was up to "throw it all out the window" when I caught her. If she had figured out how to remove the screen, she might have succeeded.

2. Locked herself in my office so she could rummage through my desk looking for fun stuff. It's filled with exceptionally boring office supplies and papers, so that worked out well for her. Though, she thought she was going to make off with my scissors. Survey says ... NOPE.

Scissors are a weird commodity around here, by the way. It doesn't matter how many pairs of them I buy, they all disappear. That is EXACTLY why I keep a pair hidden in my desk. I'll have to work on a new hiding spot.

Also, I currently have three browser tabs of interior door knob options open with full intentions of buying some like NOW. Whoever decided every door in our house needed to be able to lock was a damn fool.

3. You know those big plastic beads little kids make bracelets out of? There are a ton of them in our house. While I was in a Zoom meeting with someone who technically has the same level title as me but is truly WAY more important than me, Mila decided to take apart one of those bracelets. She was standing juuuuust on the side of my desk so as to avoid being spotted on camera and then -ping-  -ping-  -ping- she decided to launch the beads at my head one at a time. It was a truly special few minutes of me ignoring her, her giggling like a maniac, and my co-worker trying to figure the whole thing out.

4. Speaking of meetings, just half an hour later, Mila came into my office, army crawled across the floor behind me, and then put an American Girl doll on the window sill next to me, in plain view of my webcam. Basically, my whole team watched as a creepy doll magically appeared right next to me because they never saw even a hint of a little girl playing puppeteer.

5. Mila has live school on Tuesdays. She has to be reminded nonstop to pay attention and focus, which is great because some of us don't have that skill in our parenting toolset. ANYWAY, the kid managed to nearly pull down a laptop and two monitors spinning in her chair and getting tangled in her mouse cord and then ... AND THEN, her teacher said, "Finish your math assessment and you are done for the day." Except, Mila reported that her teacher said, "You are done for the day," and it took ten minutes to unravel that particular lie.

So ... yeah. She's Stitch in every way, shape, and form. She is further proving it right now by being snuggled up in my lap sleeping because she really wanted snuggles and couldn't stay awake through them. Chaos, chaos, chaos, charming. That is her mantra.

Never a dull moment.

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