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It's Coming and I Can't Stop It

I say, "No." She says, "Yes."

I ask her if she pooped. She lies and says, "No."

A parent leaving the room elicits ten minutes of squalling.

I say, "What do you want for dinner?" She says, "Cereal." I say, "How about pasta?" She says, "Cereal." I say, "How about a sandwich?" She says, "Cereal." We could go on like this for hours.

I request that she clean up her toys. She tells me "No way!"

She asks for crackers. I tell her no. She sobs.

I say, "That's bad." She laughs and does it again.

Her feet are suddenly developing a severe allergy to the floor.


It's coming.


Run for your lives.

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Reader Comments (27)

You crack me up! Oh, two, what an age. Two going on a teenager! Sounds like my bungle of girlie joy! If you figure out how to curb it...let me know. I'm still waiting out the storm with mine ;)

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterPam

This was perfect, if only it weren't true. Two? RUN Forrest Run!

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterWorksForMom

mmmmm... I REEEEALLLLY HATE to tell you this, but... mmmmm... the person who coined the phrase, "the terrible twos" was misquoted. S/He REALLY said... mmmmm (OH MAN! It pains me so much every time I have to do this!) mmmmm... s/he said, "the terrible two DECADES - from 2 to 22." Sorry to burst your bubble, love, but this will last a LONG, LONG, LONG, L.O.N.G. time. At least you aren't alone. ;o)

xoxo" REL="nofollow">

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDamama T

If you can get through two, three is easy. Yea, right!

Our two year old has amazingly lost the capacity to use his feet as well. And napping, don't get me started!

On a happier note, yea, a party!

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKIDZMAMA

I have one solidly in the twos and the other well on his way...Help!

December 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterNap Warden

Oh dear. The joy of 2.

We have another 9mths before I have to think about 2. The independence thing though? I don't think that has an age.

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterVeronica

Punkin just laughs and laughs when we try to scold her. If we get really serious with the scolding she'll hang her head, but she's still smiling. What am I supposed to do with that, I ask you? It makes discipline practically IMPOSSIBLE!!

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMadame Queen

You're lucky it's waited this long. We had some start as early as 18 months. And, for the record, it doesn't magically end at 3. Sorry. It's more like "the terrible toddler years".

Never fear, they'll find ways to endear themselves to you. As part of the Terrible Years they'll also get stingy on the hugs, kisses and snuggles. They save these for after the worst episodes they've pulled in a while, so that you're so appreciative of the lovin' that you kinda forget about the disaster. They're that good.

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

AAAAHHHH! I'm sure the two's won't be THAT terrible. Are you throwing a huge, over the top party? They're really fun, you know.

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Your child and my husband have the same birthday, 30 years apart. I am so very sorry. So so sorry.
Damn if she doesn't sound like my 4 year old.
I send you blessings and thoughts of peace, and yes... pink eye is evil evil stuff!!!
Thanks for stopping in!

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I still have about 10 months until those "terrible twos" arrive. Although I think she's already practicing!

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Alexis has been practicing Two for a while, but I didn't really piece it all together until last night. She insisted that she must eat cereal for dinner. Daddy succumbed to her whining (bad Daddy!) and she proceeded to eat exactly NONE of it. As I looked on I just thought to myself, "So this is Two. Hi, Two. You suck."

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

I love it! But I only love it cuz mine are 14 and 18 and no longer act like that - well, not always!


December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterWonderful World of Weiners

You will survive. You will question your sanity, but you will survive. I've made it to 3 years with one, with 2 on the distant horizon for the other. Some days, you wish everyone would just be quiet and stay in her room. But you will survive. Make that your mantra.

Oh, yeah, and laughing while trying to discipline a toddler doesn't work. I know. Just walk into the other room for a moment. Once you've composed yourself, then try discipline (it still won't work, but at least you won't be encouraging the behavior).


December 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterred pen mama

Oh wait until she's a pre-teen and is rolling her eyes at you. Or when you catch her "cuss". Or when she openly ignores you to your face! I think its just a girl curse.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, hope to see you again!

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commenter*~*Cece*~*

Two was easy compared to the teenager. Him.... I often consider running away, screaming and pulling my hair, as fast as I can go in the opposite direction.

But, that's just me. :)

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterThe Sports Mama

cece--The eye rolling and ignoring have already begun.

Way to be ahead of the curve, Alexis.

Sports Mama--I was just telling someone that Alexis is *not allowed* to grow up. Period. I forbid it. I much prefer Two over, say, 14.

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

Oh dear, I know what you're talking about! So many of those things I've heard my very own daughter say or do.

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBecky L

Oh Honey, I am so already there. And it is baaaad. I'm telling you I am seriously thinking of changing his name to " I DO IT!".


December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJenny H.

You gotta pass down some advice. Lacy's a year old next month, and it's going by so fast! I'm not ready for two. Lacy is just starting to talk and last night, after I scared her (on purpose. Bad, I know, but kind of cute) she looked up at me, let out a whine, and then said, "Nah! Nah!" Which, translated, means "No! No!" She sure told me.

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia

just checking back in and noticed the new blog look- very cool! way to keep us on our toes!

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Alicia, there is no advice that can properly prepare you for the transition to Two. It's a gradual process that will, at some point, slap you in the face and make you beg for mercy. One day they are sweet little babies, full of love, cuddles, and coos. The next, you have a miniature Bossy McCrankerton on your hands.

The only thing that helps is the knowledge that you are not the only one fighting the war on Two. It happens to all of us. Only the strong will survive.

Good luck. You have a few months of sanity to enjoy.

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

Pam--There are supposed to be holiday colors involved, but Blogger hates me tonight. Grrr . . .

December 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

She is only a few days younger than my little guy! His birthday is the 24th. His new word is "Mine" - which in 2 year old speak describes everything in the world.

December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKelly Malloy

I've actually heard three makes two look like one..... And, honest to God, two really hasn't been THAT bad.

Kelly--All the great people were born in January. Every single one of us.


December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

LOOKY!!! It's some big arsed chick from the Htown.

September 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnglophile Football Fanatic

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