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Red Means Stop, and Other Nonsense

- Alexis has developed the habit of YELLING the COLOR of the LIGHT and what that MEANS as I drive through an intersection (she talks in all caps quite a bit these days, so I thought I would give it a try for a while). It's going to be very difficult to explain to Mr. Officer that the light was orange when she's screaming "RED MEANS STOP" from the back seat, isn't it? (And why exactly did I think it would be a good idea to teach that to her? I can't seem to remember.)

- I neglected to charge the battery in our camera for a solid week. That is why there has been an utter and complete lack of photos as of late. I charged it last night, however, so we will be back in business soon. (And you thought I was being clever with my New Years' post, didn't you? Really, I was just finding a way to make use of photos I already had.)

- Alexis' best bud, Bear, looks like she participated in some sort of wrestling event involving a whole lot of mud, a few Cheetos, an ounce or two of applesauce, and a smattering of raspberries. I think it might be time for a bath. That is, if I can ever steal her long enough to sew up her three holes before sending her through the washing machine. Methinks Bear is going to have a tough time surviving the next few years of Toddler abuse. Those Zoo stuffed-ees just aren't of the highest quality.

- Congratulations goes out to Brian and Melanie on the birth of little Zachary. How did you ever think of such a great name? You know, now that I think about it, I really like that name. I mean, REALLY, I do. In fact, Alexis' name would be Zachary if she had been a boy. Let's refer to my very first blog post from just about exactly two years ago:

"Thursday, January 5, 2006
Just 3 weeks until Alexis or Zachary is due
We plan to use this space to share pictures and information about our new family member with you."

(Yes, I have been blogging for two years tomorrow. Most of you don't know that because everything on the first blog is in private-land not to be seen be the likes of you. Trust me, you're better off that way.)

Anyway, congrats, you two name thieves!

- Trying to get Alexis dressed in the morning is starting to feel a bit like a professional wrestling match, except that I didn't get a copy of the script. This morning's Toddler-wrangling match lasted no less than 20 minutes. I'm pretty sure she used a half nelson, a piledriver, and a facebreaker while kicking my butt. Since when did it get to be so hard to pin her down? I need a chair to whack her over the head with or something. Could we write that into the script?

- Alexis is trying to potty train herself. Actually, she was trying to potty train herself. She sort of got a bit traumatized yesterday morning when she fell in (as in REALLY fell in, I think her bits and pieces may have exited the toilet and found themselves in the pipes she was so far in). She hasn't asked to go since. (Note to self: They do make those fancy little toilet seats that can prevent such occurrences. You really should consider purchasing one. Maybe even one with Dora's face on it since that would be GREAT fun to watch the little one pee on Dora's face.)

- In case you were wondering, I love, love, LOVE my new job. And not just because I can use a few minutes at lunch to knock out a blog post when we're having friends over for dinner.

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Reader Comments (32)

I'm totally dying at the first bullet, because Little Man does the same thing, except he looks at the light on the side, not the one I'm about to go through. Should he ever ride with someone else, he might cause one hell of a fiery crash.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCatwoman

yeah, Gavin fell in right after he was potty-trained...he refused to use a peeing on Elmo or Dora or anyone for him! Get her used to those seats soon! :)

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

So, how did I miss the fact that you have a new job? Huh.

We had the morning wrestling match this morning, too. Punkin has her signature move -- The Wet Noodle. In order to master this move, you must let your body go completely limp and refuse to straighten you legs or allow any weight to rest on them at all while your mother holds you by your arms and attempts to put your jacket on you! It's so much fun, let me tell you!

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMadame Queen

I wondered why you were lazy with the pictures...Please don't let that happen again - I rather enjoy them!!


BigBrother on occasion will accept that red means stop. But mostly he just wants EVERYTHING to mean GO. Cars were not meant to stop in his world. Alas.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFireMom

Oh, and do you mean to tell me that you didn't know what you were having before you had him/her!?? How did you do it? I'm wayy to much of a control freak.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMadame Queen

Oh man this was funny (for me that is). Awesome that you LOVE your new job. Woo hoo!

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMamaGeek

Madame Queen--We didn't know until a full 10 seconds after she was born. That was AFTER the doctor said, "It's a boy!" and my husband looked over and said, "No, it's not."

We had family en route at the time she was born and refused to tell them as well. It made them INSANE. (Oh so fun for me, though!)

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

I laughed at the RED cause we still do that. Do you remember the slow mo sequence in Austin Powers where he & Vanessa steam roll over the guy but he's like 700 yards away? That's what I feel like like. Someone in the back seat yells STOP STOP MOMMY!! It's RED!! When we are three or more football fields away (thought you'd get that lingo). What? No description of the battle of bedtime?

AFF--Alexis' timing is a bit suspect as well. She is improving with practice, however.

There were no bedtime battles. Sure, there were wimpers and some yelling at 3:14 am, but I didn't lose my pants over it.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

Ah yes, the falling in the toilet syndrome. My daughter nearly fell in when she screamed in the middle of Target she HAD TO GO! She nearly fell in, but I caught her, but she's been terrified of the potty since *sigh* day...

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C.

Yeah for potty training! Falling in is disturbing to say the least, but hopefully a Dora face between her wee legs will help.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

So your saving you have a little backseat driver, huh? Me too, wait until she gets old enough to want to control the radio, too....from the backseat.

LOL pee on Dora's face. I think I would enjoy that, too. Good luck with the potty training.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

O.K., O.K.!!! I give up!!! What is the new job???

My husband used to wrestle for Pitt... it turns out that the Monkey actually has some weird mutated inborne wrestler gene and not only tries to pin me every single time I attempt to dress him, the hubs has actually seen him doing wrestling drills in his playroom. I'm NOT joking. Scary.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterluckysevn

Ashlyn does that with lights...but she tells me the one on the side, not in front. So she is yelling- Mommy, read means STOP in a panic and I drive right on through! Oh silliness! The falling in the potty is too funny! They do make those seats with Dora on them but the way...we have elmo, but Dors is totally cute too. Ashlyn thinks she is too big to use the seat anymore so she falls in a bit....a wet hiney counts as a bath right?

New job? What new job?? Where I have been?? I mean, the land of no sleep and ear aches is far away, but I thought I was still catching the headlines ;)

Have a great weekend!

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPam

I love random blogs.

You've been blogging for 3 years? Congrats! I have a few months until my 3 year mark. June or July I think.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky L

Two years, Pam. What was just supposed to be a way to stop the "did you have that baby yet" phone calls became a daily obsession with no end in sight.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

I'm glad someone loves their job. About the wrestling match, I was recently over my gpa's and he saw how I change Dylan's diaper and he laughed until he cried. I pin him down with my leg across his chest. Before you call child services, his physical therapist showed me how to do it!

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I new I really liked your family!!!
Not sure if you knew this but Zachary is my sons name. Know wonder Alexis and I connected so well.(LOL)

O and the wrestling match you had this morning atleast you had a few wrestling moves I got the claws of death tatooed to my neck!!


January 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commentershell

Oh, so sorry she fell in! Dripping bits and pieces are no good. Definitely go out this weekend and get a cute seat. In fact, you need two. One for upstairs and one for down. Trust me.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKIDZMAMA

Love, love LOVE your random post!! Have I told you what a great writer I think you are yet? No? Well my friend, YOU are a great writer!!

My brother fell in like that when he was about Alexis's age. My mom laughed until she cried and then took a picture. It's still a sore spot for him. A really giggly one for me (and my mom).

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCecily R

I can't believe I didn't think to take a picture. She was up to her armpits in toilet, and I didn't once think to find the camera. Darn it! And darn the missed opportunity for blackmail material!

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

I, too, have a back seat driver. Not only does Monkey comment on the lights, but she is constantly reminding me not to run into those cars. In all caps, of course.

Ah, yes, the wrestling matches. Look at it this way: You are getting exercise.

Monkey occasionally puts her butt in the potty on purpose. Yeah, good times. Have I mentioned I hate potty training??


January 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pen mama

I love the idea of peeing on Dora's face. Do they make one of those seats for adults?

We were out to eat tonight and there were lots of kids and a live band. The band played a lively Sesame Street and I told my husband that if they played the Dora song I was leaving!

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

OMG I am cracking up at peeing on Dora's face. Nothing would make me happier you know!

Also she fell in? Poor little pet, you are such a BAD blogger for not taking a photo of it.

January 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVeronica

Hey there! I just tagged you for a meme. Come on over and check it out.

January 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Oh my goodness. I simply must add you to the list of blogs I read. You're a Steelers fan, and your child is in a Steelers jersey. HECK YEAH!!!!!!!

My daughter had gotten totally stuck in the potty when she was training herself (so she could be just like her older brother) - her butt was so far in the toilet there was no way she could have gotten out on her own.

January 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Pity Parties AND really big pizza! I think you might be on to something!!


I feel in the toilet once when I was young. It happened because I was trying to stand on the seat and pee standing up. My Grandma wanted to know why my shoe was all wet and I didn't want to tell her because I was afraid I'd get in trouble.

January 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterALF

Hmmm. I don't remember anyone ever falling in while toliet training.

I did however fall in last week when my STUPID husband left the seat up before going to bed and I went in to pee in the night and didn't turn a light on.


Your little one has my COMPLETE sympathy.

January 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeanne

Just try that wrestling match with the kids' twin defending him to the death. Love the idea of peeing on Dora.:) Yeah and the red light thing is something you go through sooner or later with all of them!

January 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShellie

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