rawr.

I was digging through my Flickr photos earlier today and realized I have failed you. Miserably. I have some photos that I haven't posted here and THAT IS JUST PLAIN WRONG.

Before I post them, though, let me just say that I'm fully aware that I have a problem. I spend entirely too much time at the Pittsburgh Zoo. We have a membership, though, so it's really easy for me to get a wild hare up my ass and make the trip there at pretty much any moment.

Every trip I try to figure out a way to convince the polar bears to go for a swim. I know they do occasionally go in the water, but if I have my camera with me and I'm ready, they stand at the back of the rocks taunting me. They walk back and forth and back and forth, whispering my name and muttering something about hiding from the crazy lady with the camera and a blog. So far I've tried to get the polar bears to go for a swim by hiding my camera, showing a little cleavage, begging, offering them a Dorito, and by doing that awkward Angelina Jolie leg thing. No dice. Next time I'm going to try dragging a dead cow into the tunnel and seeing if they'll come check that out. I'm sure Zoo security won't mind.

The most recent trip to the Zoo was no different from the others. I didn't manage to catch any polar bears in the water. DAMMIT.

The only photo I took in the polar bear tunnel was this one.

And now Christina is cursing at me in German for posting that. Heh. You should go visit her blog and read all about her vacation in Pittsburgh.

Anyway, once I declared the Polar Bear Tunnel to be the Tunnel of Disappointment, we continued on to the shark exhibit. For some reason this guy caught my eye.

He was all RAWWWWRRR.

And then he was all RAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRR!

I AM SO FIERCE! SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING THAN POLAR BEAR! RAWWWRRRR!

But then he was all OH SNAP. Something seems to be wrong!

CRAP! Don't tell anyone that I have dentures!

You aren't seeing this.

Hold on a minute! I need to put my teeth back in!

rawr.

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The winner of the $25 Amazon gift card is ... Rich D with "Listen? Do you smell something?" Rich's caption only had 89 more votes than the 2nd place one, so it was pretty darn close.

Thanks for playing along, y'all!

I Have a Plan. A Good Plan.

If I were a betting woman, I'd put $100 on Alexis having the whole Tooth Fairy thing all sorts of figured out. She hasn't admitted as much, but when she stuck her tooth on the shelf in her bedroom a few weeks ago, she turned to me and said, "Mom, my tooth is right here. IT'S RIGHT HERE, MOM." She then aimed a spotlight directly on it, made a trail with glitter, and hired a carnie to yell, "Baby tooth! Right here! Here's the baby tooth!" all night long.

My point is she was very committed to making sure *I* saw where there tooth was. She didn't ask if I had my wallet with me, but I'm relatively certain she was wondering.

She believes in the fairies in the garden. The one who collects discarded human tissue? Not so much. She's smart enough to know to fake it, though.

That brings us to the Easter Bunny. I'm thinking his story is WAY shakier than the Tooth Fairy's. A bunny that hops around leaving eggs filled with candy? The what? WHY? And a basket filled with crap? Aren't those plastic eggs the exact same ones we found last year? And that have been in the spare bedroom since? Why do they sell those eggs everywhere if the Easter Bunny is the one who hides them? And why are they always filled with mom and dad's favorite candies?

It's all very shady. VERY shady.

Easter morning started entirely too early with Penny ninja-attacking my head and demanding to be let out. She's a nutcase who hasn't figured out that I would like her more if she would sleep past 6:00 in the freakin' morning. She also hasn't figured out that the key to ending my violent thoughts is to obey one very important rule -- DO NOT WAKE THE ALEXIS.

Penny started barking her little head off the second she was back in the house. That caused Alexis to wake up on Easter morning at Oh My God o'Clock. She started talking at Please Go Back To Bed o'Clock and I finally told her to go away and look for Easter eggs or whatever at half past Way Too Freakin' Early o'Clock.

Screw being there for the magic of childhood moments. Momma needs her sleep. If Daddy hadn't been at work, things might have worked out differently, but whatever. He was gone and I wanted SLEEEEEEP.

Alexis went in search of eggs, occassionally jolting me to semi-awakedness with updates. I've mastered the art of saying "Wow!" and "That's good!" and "OK!" in my sleep, so I don't really know what all was reported. There was one report, though, that had her completely freaked out. We're talking so freaked out that she crawled into bed with me and demanded to be cuddled.

I only half understood what she was rambling about, but what followed that report was so monumental that I requested that Alexis make a video for me later on.

She obliged.

1. I did not drug that child. Never have.

2. I was not responsible for any shenanigans. In fact, there were no shenanigans.

3. The kid is coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. Nuttier than a Snickers bar. Crazier than Uncle Bill. A few pennies short of right in the head.

(If you can't view the video, it's basically Alexis describing how the Easter Bunny was in her bedroom. She describes the encounter in extensive detail. Like I said, SHE'S OFF HER ROCKER.)

So basically Alexis set out to find Easter eggs but then got completely freaked out when she ran across the Easter Bunny. Who wasn't there. Did I mention that there was nothing in her room to even sort of give her the impression that there was an intruder? I have no explanation for her nuttiness. It's cute, but nutty.

After Alexis ran to report her findings to me, she crawled into bed ...

AND FELL ASLEEP.

My kid, she who thinks sleep is stupid, WENT BACK TO SLEEP.

I can't tell you the last time she did that. Possibly never.

AND! AND! AND! She slept until 10:00. Double digits! A respectable time!

Anybody got a bunny suit I can borrow? I think I just figured out a way to make sure I get to sleep in on the weekends.

Hobo Style Grilled Vegetables

I hesitate to refer to this as a "recipe" because it's more like "this thing we've been doing for 20-something years."

Hold on.

I need to compose myself. Typing "20-something years" just hurt my head.

You guys, I have been a vegetarian for 22 years. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? And GET OFF MY LAWN, WHIPPERSNAPPERS! ::sob::

Anyway, not only am I a long-term vegetarian, I'm also a huge lover of fire. Food + Fire = My idea of a good time. As such, it stands to reason that I have figured out a way to grill pretty much every vegetable there is. Sometimes "simple" and "cheap" are factors that are thrown into the grilling love, though, and that's when we throw together these Hobo Style Grilled Vegetables. There aren't really any rules involved. You can let your budget and your personal taste be your guide.

You will start out by cleaning and cutting your choice of vegetables. Your vegetable chunks should be bite-sized. Keep in mind that the smaller you cut them, the faster they will cook on the grill.

I think of carrots, potatoes, and onions as the base for this recipe. Everything past that is an "extra." If I'm going all out, here's what I use:

Baby carrots
B-size potatoes (I like to use a mix of golden and blue potatoes--they taste the same, but the color variation is fun)
Yellow onion
Red pepper
Zucchini
Yellow squash
Grape tomatoes
Celery

Once all of your vegetables are clean and cut, you throw them in some foil along with a little olive oil, garlic, salt, pepper, and rosemary. You'll close up that foil (making a little "hobo bag") and throw it on the grill for 25 minutes or so, or until the carrots are as cooked as you want them.

I go by the carrots when I'm figuring out doneness because they take the longest to cook. I also do it because there are few foods I hate more than super mushy carrots. I want them to still have a bit of crispness to them, so I remove the vegetables the second those carrots are a perfect al dente. The zucchini, squash, celery, tomatoes, and onions will be soft and the potatoes will be thoroughly cooked by default. I promise.

Since grill temperatures can vary greatly, the easiest way to test doneness is to carefully unfold the foil and taste a carrot. I promise it works.

We usually pair these vegetables with sausages (faux for Alexis and I, the real deal for the husband), but honestly they are good with just about anything. They were excellent with my veggie burger that had onion rings, Gouda cheese, and BBQ sauce on top earlier tonight.

One last note...double or triple or half or whatever this recipe as needed. I figured out approximate proportions for everything, but these veggies are very forgiving. You don't need to follow these directions exactly.

Hobo Style Grilled Vegetables

2 cups clean, chopped vegetables (Any combination of peppers, squash, zucchini, carrots, onion, potatoes, celery, tomatoes, etc.)
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon olive oil

1. Place the chopped vegetables, garlic, rosemary, salt, and pepper on top of a large piece of aluminum foil.

2. Drizzle the olive oil over top.

3. Fold the aluminum foil over the top of the vegetables, creating a pocket. You want to make sure there is no places for the vegetables to fall out.

4. Place on the grill and cook for 10 minutes. Flip and then cook for another 10-15 minutes, or until the vegetables are grilled to your liking.

If you're feeling wild and crazy, toss a little shredded parmesan cheese on top of the finished Hobo Style Grilled Vegetables. It's a nice little twist to a simple yet fantastic side dish.

Oh, and if you're a fan of grilling, there's a giveaway you might like over here.