Subscribe
Search

Tuesday
Nov062007

Enough to Make My Mother Roll Over in her Grave

I really had a sad, sad childhood devoid of joys such as Barbie dolls, My Little Ponies, Strawberry Shortcake, and Play-Doh. Play-Doh was an especially contentious past-time because my Mother was convinced the stuff was a tool of the devil, sent to ruin carpet and furniture and make her clean for hours. One year for Christmas, my older cousin took pity on my poor little soul and gifted me with two wondrous jars of ooshy, gooshy joy. We weren't even to the car before the Play-Doh police were called and my happiness was confiscated.

And that is why I know this photo is enough for my Mother to turn over in her grave:

I am such a cool Mom. I bought Play-Doh months ago when daycare kept reporting that Alexis really loved playing with it. I've previously mentioned that whoever wrote the "loves Play-Doh!" notes must have been smoking crack, but lately Alexis has actually started to let me play with her. It's like a dream come true. We've rolled it, cut it with cookie cutters, and cooked it like you probably expect. When Alexis started to take our make-believe a little bit too seriously and began to taste-test her creations, I thought it was time we find some new ways to play.

So we started making impressions of stuff. Her nose, my nose, shoe bottoms, rocks, chairs, doll feet, dog feet, cat feet (don't try that one at home, you'll have to just trust me on that), dog noses, cat noses, cat ears, we've done it all. I don't know how she feels about it, but I've been having the time of my life.

Now if only she would let me play with the Legos . . .

Monday
Nov052007

Important Life Skill MASTERED

There are some things that girls just learn sooner than boys. There are also things that girls learn that boys never quite catch on to. That's just life. Alexis has mastered one of those skills.

A typical conversation lately:

Alexis: Popcorn!
Me: Do you want popcorn?
Alexis: O-KAY! (In her best, "Oh my goodness, you are absolutely a GENIUS for thinking of that! I would LOVE some popcorn and am just so pleased that you thought to ask me!" voice.)

I have gone round and round with her like this for the past few days. That candy she had as an afternoon snack today? Totally my idea. I was also the genius that thought to give her green beans for lunch. I am obviously the smartest parent of all time because I am just so full of great ideas.

Either that or my daughter has mastered the art of making other people think her idea was their idea, thereby making her path to happiness easier. She couldn't have possibly learned it from me.

(BTW, Honey--you're right. I really should get started on putting up the Christmas decorations. I'm so glad I have you to remind me how long it takes to get it all done. Do you have a second to help me start bringing up the boxes?)

Sunday
Nov042007

Tag--I'm It!

Karen tagged me earlier this week for seven random things about myself. I gave it a bit of thought because I wanted to list seven things nobody that reads this blog would know. Given that my in-laws are devoted followers who have been reading my dribble for nearly two years, it's not an easy task. After all, my husband first introduced me to them over 13 years ago. But here goes:

1. I have been a vegetarian for nearly 17 years. OK, bunches of you knew that. But did you know that it started because of a bet? I have never liked meat and at one time could be known to complain endlessly about the fact that I was eating the nasty stuff. Four of my friends finally became annoyed enough to tell me to put up or shut up. They each bet me $50 that I couldn't go a month without eating meat. I became $200 richer and never restarted eating the stuff.

2. Alexis is also a vegetarian, but I'm not the one that made the decision. I didn't really have an opinion one way or the other. We have agreed, however, that it's her choice to make. There have been a few times that she's expressed interest in one sort of dead animal or another, but she's never taken the plunge. Given that she's still in the 95th percentile for height and weight, I'd have to say she's doing just fine without it.

3. While I won't eat dead animals, I will eat Cream of Mushroom soup straight out of the can. Don't ask; I can't explain it.

4. I have a Ducktorette Degree in Human Resource Management from Disney University (it's even signed by Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck). That and $4.07 will get me a Grande Nonfat Pumpkin Spiced Latte.

5. It was no accident that we hadn't agreed on a middle name for a girl before Alexis was born. We were 100% agreed on a boy's name, but couldn't seem to get anywhere with a girl name. My last attempt at negotiations was when I was around 7 months pregnant when I brought up "McKinnley." Daddy vehemently said no, because he thought it would lead to teasing such as "Mount McKinnley." I was sold on it and didn't really think the teasing would be an issue. So I made up my mind that I wouldn't mention it again until we were in the delivery room. If we happened to have a girl, then I planned to use the current situation to my advantage. It worked. I have been known to gloat about the fact that Daddy refers to the Toddler as Kinnley more often than he does as Alexis.

6. My Mother refused to let me pierce my ears growing up because "If God had wanted holes in your ears, he would have put them there." The very second I thought I looked old enough to do it without a parent present, I had six holes punched in one ear and three in the other.

7. I killed Josh Duhamel in high school. Seriously. I was in charge of our school's Ghost Out for drunk driving awareness and he was one of the volunteers that offered to die for the day. I painted his face, made him a tombstone, and declared him dead. (For the record, he wasn't as smokin' hot back in 1992 as he is now.) (Also for the record, since I don't know if anybody outside of North Dakota has ever heard of a "Ghost Out", they are a way of raising awareness about the consequences of drunk driving. I don't know what the statistic is now, but back in '92 someone died in a drunk driving accident every 17 minutes. So every 17 minutes, a student volunteer would get their face painted white and were to be "dead" for the rest of the day. They attended classes but weren't allowed to talk. We always held them on days when there was a football or basketball game and would have all of the ghosts attend so that we could amass them together for a presentation at half time. I don't know if they actually stop anyone from drinking and driving, but Ghost Outs are definitely impactful.)

So there you have it. I now am supposed to tag seven others, but I think I'm just going to tag a couple of people that I've been meaning to add to my blogroll for some time now. Maybe I'll get around to it someday.

I tag: Imposter Mom, Not the Momma, and Tired Mama.