I'm Willing To Pay For Awkward

Her idea of what constitutes a "pose" is still questionable.

But Alexis is FINALLY, at times, willing to pose for a photograph or two.

I mean, if you can call that posing.

I should probably long for the Camera Dodger Days to return so I can capture some natural looking expressions, but sometimes the "poses" make me crack up.

So I enjoy the awkward attempts at "modeling."

But, there is one thing I should probably confess.

There is frequently bribery involved with getting Alexis to pose for photographs.

She's not generally a fan of sweets, but Munchkins are DEFINITELY her currency.

Just don't take them away.

Unless you WANT Grumpy Face photographs.

In which case, carry on. I won't complain.

I Told You Hoarding Is Bad

I climbed into my car at way-too-early o'clock so that I could get to work. Something smelled . . . not good. I live with a 5-year old girl, a grown man, two dogs, and three cats, though, so "not good" is pretty much code for "better than usual."

I didn't think much of it.

Later I went to go climb into my car again, this time to run out and grab something for lunch. As I pulled the door open, that something "not good" jumped out of the car, tackled me, and punched me in the face over and over again. "Not good" had definitely been replaced by "OMG! It's like a fart, a dirty diaper, and an armadillo got into a fight in here and THEY ALL DIED."

It was time to find the source of the odor. Which, Alexis rides in my car 99% of the time. The list of possibile sources read like an FBI informant list. It was long, complicated, and possibly classified.

The problem is that Alexis is a hoarder. We've covered this before, but I can tell you her hoarding is magnified within the confines of that car. The kid looooooooves backpacks. And tote bags. And purses. And pretty much anything that can somehow be used to house all of the crap that she feels is essential to life. At any given point in time, I can find a used napkin, 14 of the kid's most magnificent drawings, a gum wrapper, six toys, three books, Barbie's left shoe, Ken's pants, an unidentifiable (but VERY important!) hunk of plastic, and heaven knows what else in any one of the kid's 1053092353 backpacks/tote bags/purses. Multiply that by the volume of bags and such that she has, and she truly has a magnificent supply of crap. She loves to take it ALL out to my car and then leave it in there.

Even though it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, I had to find the source of the odor.

I started with her car seat. While I found enough food to make a fancy casserole for dinner, I didn't find the source of the odor. Unless, of course, Goldfish crackers have started passing gas. In which case, well, we're all in trouble. I started checking the floorboard in front of her seat.

And I saw it.

I instantly flashed back to Saturday when I took Alexis to the mall. She had asked for Subway for lunch, so I had gotten her a quick kids meal. It seemed like a genius idea at the time, but when we went to pay, the cashier took her sandwich, apple slices, and milk and placed them inside a little Lion King tote bag. As the cashier closed the velcro to lock up the meal nice and tight, I glared at him. I know it's not his fault that Subway has decided to give little tote bags in place of toys with their kids meals, but DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND MY KID HAS A PROBLEM? I viewed that cashier as a drug dealer and there he was handing over tote bag crack to the kid.

GRRRR.

I was right that the tote bag was a no-good-very-bad idea. I wasn't sure what I would find when I opened it, but SURELY something had crawled inside and died. An entire family of stink bugs? A honey badger? A diaper? Never mind that Alexis has been out of diapers for well over two years. Those things could easily grow legs and hide somewhere if they wanted to.

I carefully poked at the bag as I hid my face in my shirt sleeve. The odor was . . . amazing. I mean "amazing" in the same way that Britney Spears extensions sometimes make it look like a rat made a nest on her head. So, uh, NOT GOOD.

And then I saw it. The bottle of milk.

Hey, so, if you leave a bottle of milk in the car for four days? It'll explode! Didja know that? Yeah? SO WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

The inside of that bag looked like a bowl of cottage cheese had thrown up in it. The milk had separated and curdled and WOW it's amazing what a few days of 85 degrees can do to a few ounces of milk. I have never seen such a disgusting pile of goo accumulated in one place, AND I'M A MOTHER. Goo is my middle name!

Ten minutes later, the offending bag containing what used to be milk had been destroyed. The odor, however, still lingers.

So, anybody in the market for a slightly used Nissan Rogue? I'll throw in a can of air freshener for free!

Greek Macaroni-n-Cheese (And A Giveaway!) (CLOSED)

BlogHer recently contacted me with a mission--redo a classic recipe using Country Crock, but ramp up the vegetables so that the recipe meets the USDA recommendations for vegetables to take up half of your plate.

Now THAT is my kind of mission. I've spent the majority of the summer reveling in the joy that is the farmers market. We've been enjoying tons and tons of fresh eggplant, spinach, onions, zucchini . . . you name it. We're all about the vegetables these days.

The whole Vegetable-palooza was exactly why I hadn't made macaroni-n-cheese from scratch recently. As much as I love making it and as much as everyone loves eating it, the whole pasta-with-cheese thing wasn't really cutting it as a balanced meal. If there is one thing macaroni-n-cheese needs, it's vegetables.

Hello, Use More Veggies Mission! Meet my friend macaroni-n-cheese!

Of course, I couldn't just throw some broccoli in my standard macaroni-n-cheese recipe. That wouldn't be any fun. Instead, I decided to try making a Greek-influenced macaroni-n-cheese.

You guys.

YOU GUYS.

This stuff turned out AMAZING. It's packed with veggies and perfectly balanced with the right cheeses and OMG. SOOOO GOOD. My husband even admitted that it might be the best thing I've ever made up. I might be willing to admit that he was right.

It's a multi-step process, and worth every second of the effort. You'll make the macaroni, sauté the vegetables, and make the cheese sauce. Then you'll throw it all together and put it in the oven for a bit. I made enough to serve 6, which means we'll be reheating it for leftovers later in the week. You gotta love a dinner that gives twice.

Greek Macaroni-n-Cheese

For the pasta and vegetables you'll need:
2 cups macaroni
1 tablespoon Country Crock
1 small red onion, chopped
1 red pepper, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 pound spinach
1/2 cup cherry or grape tomatoes
1 2.25 oz can sliced black olives
1 can quartered artichoke hearts
1/2 cup Feta cheese
Optional: sundried tomatoes

For the cheese sauce you'll need:
2 tablespoons Country Crock
1 teaspoon flour
2 cups nonfat milk
1 cup shredded Asiago cheese
1 cup shredded Provolone cheese

Start by cooking the macaroni according to the instructions on the box.

While you're waiting for your water to boil, melt 1 tablespoon of Country Crock in a skillet over medium heat. Add the red pepper, onion, and garlic and sauté until softened. Toss the spinach on top. Don't worry if it doesn't fit at first. The spinach will shrink. A LOT.

Stir occasionally until the spinach is sautéd. Add the tomatoes, olives, artichoke hearts, and sundried tomatoes (if you're using them). (I couldn't not use sundried tomatoes. They make my husband a very happy man.)

So much good stuff going on there.

By the time your veggies are sautéd, your macaroni is probably done. Drain it and then toss it in your skillet with the veggies. Stir it all up and set it aside while you make your cheese sauce.

Now for the sauce. Melt your 2 tablespoons of Country Crock in a saucepan (I used the same pan I used to cook the macaroni--I just wiped it dry with a towel) over medium heat. Slowly add the flour while stirring constantly with a whisk. Then slowly add the milk, all the while still stirring and stirring with that whisk.

Allow the milk and Country Crock concoction to gently boil until it begins to thicken slightly (about 5 minutes), stirring constantly. Then begin slowly adding your shredded Asiago and Provolone. Keep stirring with that whisk and you'll end up with a creamy cheese sauce.

It doesn't photograph well, but it tastes AMAZING.

Put your pasta with veggies in an oven safe dish then pour the cheese sauce over the top. Add a little bit of shredded Provolone or Asiago to the top if you want, but definitely be sure to add your feta to the top.

In a perfect world, the whole dish would go in the oven at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes. I don't live in a perfect world, though, so I cheat. I turn the broiler on high and cook it until the cheese just starts to brown on top.

Nobody in my house has the patience to wait for anything to bake more than five minutes. It just is, so I use the broiler a lot. It seems to do the trick just fine.

What you end up with is a macaroni-n-cheese that tastes AMAZING and has a ton of vegetables in it.

And, as she said, "It's so yummy!"



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