I Could Write About The Earthquake In Pittsburgh, But That's Too Far Into The Future

The thing about this little blog is that it gets caught in time warps from time-to-time. Sometimes I write about things that happened just hours ago, but usually I'm on a weird one week (or more) delay. I don't know why, it just works out that way. So, um, this happened two freakin' weekends ago. And! AND! I got scooped on the story. By her.

Whatever. I'm still posting about it because I want to post the photos. So if you've heard this all before, BLAME GINA. It's her fault for being more . . . uh . . . on the ball than I am. WHOOPS.

FOREVER ago (because now it's not just two weekends ago...it's forever ago--see what happens when your blog is in a time warp?), Alexis and I met one of my favorite people and her daughter for a day at the Science Center.

It's always a good time when we get together because Alexis IDOLIZES that kid. Like, WOAH. It probably has something to do with her, and I quote, "cute" big brother, but I'm sure that's not the only reason for the mutual adoration between those kids. They're both pretty awesome and hysterical and they both listen to their mothers SO very well.

Exhibit A:

When we walked into the Science Center, we were dodging raindrops and shivering from the early crisp fall air. When we walked out of the Science Center, Mother Nature had gotten her act together and it was clear, warm, and perfect. So I suggested we walk along the river and take a few photos. There are no photos of the girls from when we walked along the river.

The problem was that the short people were busy pointing out every little drop of goose poop everywhere. We kept walking in hopes of finding a spot that wouldn't make them go, "EWWWWW! GROSS! POOP!" before falling over in a puddle of giggles. Every time we managed to find a spot that would work, the girls had run so far ahead that we had no choice but to catch them. Before we knew it, we found ourselves standing at the Water Stairs, way past the point where I planned to turn around so we could get home at a decent hour.

Such great listeners!

Exhibit B:

Our exact words to the girls were, "Sure, you can play in the fountain, but only get your feet wet, please." I even rolled up Alexis' capris to aid in the feet-only action.

That worked well.

In their defense, they did manage to make it five minutes pretty much dry.

But then they disappeared behind something and two minutes later emerged, uh, SOAKED. Like, instantly.

My theory is that there was some sort of Short Person Conference up at the top of the fountain. During that conference, someone must have presented a speech on How To Not Listen To Your Mother And Not Get In Trouble. There were probably a few bullet points about strength in numbers because they TOTALLY used that against us. Kind of hard to yell at your kid when the other kid is soaked, too, right? But her mom can't yell at her because your kid is soaked. And so then who started it? Somebody has to be to blame, unless they both just dunked themselves simultaneously. Which, if they did? EVIL GENIUSES. Nobody can be the scapegoat if they did it together.

Gina and I got the last laugh, though. We didn't actually care if they got wet. We just thought it was the appropriate thing to do to tell them not to. Or something.

Arnie Returns

It read like an eviction notice, although it wasn't intended that way. When I first read the sales flyer proclaiming that our favorite pond store is closing, all I could think about was, "Oh, yeah! Arnie is still there!" They have been fish-sitting for us for . . . um . . . a while.

We took our Koi to the store when we had to fill in the pond at our old house over two years ago. We planned to get him back just as soon as we had a pond for him at the new house. I'm cute when I'm optimistic, and I have proof that I thought it would only take us a month to build  that pond.

Let's all take a moment and laugh hysterically at that "optimism." Some might actual call it "crazy talk." It took us a year to get a pond up and running, which is just a few minutes longer than a month. Ahem.

Anyway, it has been two years since we moved, and we do actually have a pond built in our back yard. It's not entirely done, but there have been fish living it in for a year. The thing is that those fish have seemed perfectly happy so I was super leery of upsetting the balance of the fishy universe by adding our giant Koi to the mix. Not only that, but the last time we moved Arnie, it pretty much sucked. There's really nothing fun about transporting a VERY VERY BIG fish 15 or so miles. It was easier to just let things be.

But I couldn't really let the pond store close without claiming him. It just seemed . . . wrong.

So on Saturday I planned to go to the pond store and inquire about Arnie. I figured they would either say, "Sure! You can have your fish back!" or "Uh, we've been feeding him for two years. Get lost." Either way I would walk away a winner. I didn't plan to actually get the fish just yet. I just wanted to put together a plan.

But then Alexis and I walked out of Las Velas and ran right into Mr. Husband. He had to work on Saturday while the short person had accompanied me to my fantasy football draft. When we literally ran into him on our way to the car and he said he was done with work, it was a sign. A SIGN, PEOPLE. He was meant to go with us to the pond store.

One thing led to another and somehow Mr. Husband wound up hauling a very heavy plastic tub filled with pond water and a giant fish out to my car. He had no idea it was coming, which just meant he didn't have time to argue with my plan (or lack thereof).  It's always better that way.

As we drove away with our REALLY REALLY BIG fish, we discussed who was going to do what so we could manage to get both cars back home and then deal with the fish. Mr. Husband had driven to work and I had driven to my fantasy football draft. We had left one of the cars downtown to run to the pond store. I was given an opening, so I ran with "I'LL DRIVE YOUR CAR!" and didn't give the husband a chance to argue.

That meant Arnie would stay in my car and Mr. Husband would drive Arnie to the house. I would follow shortly behind, surely home just moments after him so that I could help with the Arnie-From-Car-To-Pond-Transportation Project.

Oh, look! Something shiny!

It's such a travesty that when Mr. Husband dropped me off at the garage where he had parked his car, I had to walk past the Batman movie set. I mean, how sad is it that I had no choice but to stop and take a few pictures of the Bat Tumbler? And that I had to wait for them to finish filming a scene before I could pay for parking? And that I had to wait a few more minutes for them to finish that scene before I could use the elevator?

I sure was disappointed.

And I missed the whole Arnie-From-Car-To-Pond-Transportation Project. DARN THE LUCK!

Really, it's better that I missed it. The last time we had to move him the only useful thing I did was scream when Arnie flailed like a madman.

One of these days I'll figure out a way to take photographs of fish that show some scale. Just not today, apparently. If I had to guess, I'd say Arnie is somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3 feet long.

(P.S. If you're keeping score, yes, Sidney was missing from the Return the Fish Home Project. We didn't see him and we didn't bother to ask.)

Pierogi Sandwiches

When I said it was the summer of "COOK IT WITH FIRE!" I really wasn't kidding. If there is a way to throw food on a fire and declare it dinner, I've done it. Twice.

I bought a tool that has aided greatly in my mission:

A pie iron. I bought it on Amazon, but I've also seen them at REI and a few other places.

You guys. YOU GUYS. Is there anything that can't be slapped between two slices of bread and cooked over a fire? I think not! So far this summer I've tried peanut butter and jelly (ZOMG! SO GOOD!), sliced apples with cinnamon, various (faux) meats and cheeses, pretty much every vegetable I've gotten my hands on, and everything in between.

My absolute favorite has to be Pierogi Sandwiches.

It started with mashed potatoes, grilled onions, and cheddar cheese, but we've meandered from that path a bit as the summer has gone on. It really just comes down to whatever we have in the fridge at the time. Here's the variation we threw together tonight.

Pierogi Sandwiches

Mashed Potatoes
Cheese (we used pepper jack--OH, YES, WE DID)
Bacon (of course we used Morningstar faux bacon, but whatever)
2 slices bread
Butter (technically I cheated and used Country Crock because it spreads better)

Start a fire (Or light up the grill, plug in a sandwich press, or get out a skillet--frankly it doesn't matter. The pie iron seals the edges and gives you a nice "I cooked with fire!" taste, but the basic idea would work no matter how you cook it.). Butter one side of each of the slices of bread.

Turn the first slice butter side down and top it with a couple of tablespoons of mashed potatoes, some bacon, and slices of cheese. (The butter is there to keep the sandwich from sticking. Think grilled cheese.)

Slap the other slice of bread on top with the butter facing upward.

Then COOK IT WITH FIRE! I stuck it inside the pie iron and put it in the fire for about 5 minutes.

Perfection.

Now I'm dying to see what would happen if I stuck banana slices, peanut butter, and chocolate chips in between some bread and put it in the pie iron. Magic, right?

Gosh, I love fire.