2018 total: $10011.76


Can You Believe It?

I took Alexis to one of her favorite parks this afternoon to play on the slides. Normally she doesn't make it past slide #1 because of how the jungle gym is set up. The stairs that she can easily climb go directly to the littlest slide, which she can do herself, and she just never manages to make it past the littlest slide to find out what else there is to behold. But today she got distracted enough to abandon the jungle gym altogether and discovered the sand/water part of the park.

She never really noticed the dolphin spraying water 20 feet because all she could do was stare at the enormous sandpit. More specifically, she stared at the three little girls playing in the sand pit. It started out with her looking at them, then looking at me, then looking at them, then back at me, all the while with an absolutely increduous look on her face. Then she suddenly started spewing a tirade in baby talk that I think can best be translated as follows:

"Oh my gawd, Mom, do you see those girls? I mean really, do you see them? They're playing in SAND, Mom. SAND! Why would anyone play in sand? Don't they know? Oh my gawd, that is so gross. I can't believe they are touching that stuff. Mom! Look at that girl. SHE'S NOT WEARING PANTS. Oh my gawd, she's going to get sand in her diaper. Oh, my. That is just not right. What is wrong with these people? Go tell them, now! I mean it, go tell them that they shouldn't play in the sand. Ech, I'm so over all of you gross kids. Let's go, Mom."

And with that, she grabbed my hand and we marched back to the slides. She looked over her shoulder a few times to make sure the gross girls were still doing what they were doing.


Put a Fork in it

Have you ever been stabbed in the stomach with two little forks? Yeah, me neither, but I imagine it feels just about the same as when Alexis decides to tickle me.

She's got this thing lately for tickling me at every opportunity. Frankly, she's pretty lousy at it. Her execution is good, but the technique is terrible. The best part is that she pulls my shirt up to make it easier for her to stab me with her pointy little fingers. So I'll be walking through a store, with her in the cart, and she'll decide that I should put on a show for everybody around. It's fanstastic. If she didn't laugh so hard when she was doing it, I would have a very hard time doing anything but cringing. Well, OK, there is still a lot of cringing, but even that makes her laugh, so it's all good.

Now I just want to know why she has never done it to Daddy.


The Constant Gardener

Guess what is really fun . . . those of you that live in the Burgh probably did it today. I know we did. It's really, really fun to sit in the "Parkway East is closed the Arts Festival is downtown there's construction everywhere and the US Open is in town" traffic (I like to call it YFNMWYG for short. Have fun figuring out what that stands for). Wow is it ever fantastic. The dude (because you know it was a man) that decided to close the parkway this weekend, while a few hundred thousand people are in town to watch Tiger Woods play golf, totally deserves a raise.

You would think this scene would end very badly:

After all, there has to be an adult somewhere nearby.

But, alas, it doesn't end badly because Alexis is convinced that you use the hose to splash yourself and then water the flowers. She has yet to discover the joy of chasing someone with it. I'm not complaining, she actually does a pretty good job on the garden.

Oh, and Brian, that was much better. Your choice of news stories is a bit suspect, but at least the Bikao guy got 14 years. It's just too bad they didn't find the other five or six suspects.