All the Rude People, Please Keep to the Right

We've been keeping up with our bike riding at the Montour Trail about three nights a week. Here's some random thoughts on the topic:

1. I have rescued Alexis from the horror of the front seat and helped her get back her trailer. She is now free to resume sleeping while we ride.

2. There was an inordinate number of rude people out tonight. So rude, in fact, that I feel the need to call some of them out.

You sir, the roller-blading, Golden Retriever-having, red leash-holding jerkface, if you are on one side of the path, and your dog is on the other side, and you have a long red leash running between you, please pull your dog to you when a person on a bike approaches. I'm not really looking for decaptitation to be my method of death. Oh, and the people that were behind you stuck because of your path-hogging ways, they're cheering "Amen, sista" right about now.

Mr. Grey shorts that were really, really, really tight, you have a gross butt. Now while I admire that you are riding bike, perhaps in hopes of shaping and toning that butt, I didn't appreciate the really tight shorts, and I definately didn't appreciate the way you made sure it was in my view for over fifteen minutes. If I speed up, please let me pass. If I slow down, don't slow down to wait for me. It's just not nice to make me look at that mess any longer than I have to.

Finally, you lady with the cartwheeling five year-old. You are right, it is very cute that your kid can do cartwheels. I'm so glad you commented about how cute it was. But, could you possibly ask her to do them somewhere where bikers and walkers and rollerbladers aren't trying to get through? Because really, in a bike vs. cartwheeling five year-old collision, my money is on the bike.

3. Does anyone know where I can find sunglasses with built-in windshield wipers? The bug splatter is making it a wee bit difficult to see sometimes. Thanks.

Oh the Jealousy

Brian and Melanie--Alexis is officially really, really, really jealous of you. Her favoritest person in the whole wide world (aside from me, of course), was just in Abilene. Alexis will not be happy that she missed a chance to meet Rachel from Signing Time.

Can You Believe It?

I took Alexis to one of her favorite parks this afternoon to play on the slides. Normally she doesn't make it past slide #1 because of how the jungle gym is set up. The stairs that she can easily climb go directly to the littlest slide, which she can do herself, and she just never manages to make it past the littlest slide to find out what else there is to behold. But today she got distracted enough to abandon the jungle gym altogether and discovered the sand/water part of the park.

She never really noticed the dolphin spraying water 20 feet because all she could do was stare at the enormous sandpit. More specifically, she stared at the three little girls playing in the sand pit. It started out with her looking at them, then looking at me, then looking at them, then back at me, all the while with an absolutely increduous look on her face. Then she suddenly started spewing a tirade in baby talk that I think can best be translated as follows:

"Oh my gawd, Mom, do you see those girls? I mean really, do you see them? They're playing in SAND, Mom. SAND! Why would anyone play in sand? Don't they know? Oh my gawd, that is so gross. I can't believe they are touching that stuff. Mom! Look at that girl. SHE'S NOT WEARING PANTS. Oh my gawd, she's going to get sand in her diaper. Oh, my. That is just not right. What is wrong with these people? Go tell them, now! I mean it, go tell them that they shouldn't play in the sand. Ech, I'm so over all of you gross kids. Let's go, Mom."

And with that, she grabbed my hand and we marched back to the slides. She looked over her shoulder a few times to make sure the gross girls were still doing what they were doing.