Smarty Pants

About 98% of Mila's brain capacity is taken up by thoughts of playing with her hamster, but that other 2% has been up to some totally different shenanigans lately. Recently, the kid has been obsessed with thinking through what she wants to be when she grows up.

I'm assuming the whole thing spawned from a conversation at school. I'm assuming that because she went from not giving her future adultness any thought to being consumed in a *snap.* Also, I think that's where it started because initially she had some ... archaic thoughts.

Look, we live in a school district that's not all that with it, so to speak. I mean, one of the dress code policies is that girls can't wear tank tops with straps narrower than 1/2". I know when I see a kindergartener with skinny tank top straps, I'm distracted, so just imagine how the little boys in Mila's class must feel.

(Can you sense all the fire shooting out of my eyes when I think about how dumb that policy is? I hope you can. It's very warm and cozy as long as you keep a safe distance.)

So initially Mila was thinking about teaching and librarian and stay-at-home-mom and all the typical "girl jobs" that people in our school district have on their approved list. (I super don't fit in. Are you surprised?) That lasted about thirteen seconds once I caught wind of it because OBVIOUSLY.

So we talked about doctors and lawyers and engineers and all sorts of things. It was a remarkably interesting conversation considering Mila is only 5 years old. And from the conversation, Mila came up with her life's goal.

She's going to be an engineer.

An engineer who invents a new thing.

A new thing that will make her "all of the money in the world."

And then she's going to quit working because she wants to spend all of her time at the pool.

I told you she's a smart one.

That's Just Gross, Mila

I'm not really sure why it happened, but at some point Mila ended up with a toothbrush in every bathroom of our house. It's probably because she's been voted most likely to succeed at ruining her teeth while she's also a giant baby about walking ten feet to brush said teeth. She will throw a tantrum over being asked to walk too far. It's a fact.

At some point, I purposely added a spare toothbrush for myself in our little half bath. It's because I'm always the last to go to bed and I don't want to wake anyone up with my late-night oral hygiene.

So, Mila and I each have a toothbrush on the edge of the sink in the half bathroom. No big deal.

Tonight I sent the Tiny Human in to brush her teeth, which went just as fabulously as it always does. The girl can whine about the dumbest things, I swear. Eventually she settled in and brushed. Just as she turned the water off from her final rinse, I heard it.

A loud crash.

It was the distinctive sound of a toothbrush falling into the trash can. o_O

When Mila emerged from the carnage, I asked, "Whose toothbrush fell in the trash can?" Basically, I wanted to know if I should burn mine before going and getting a new one. Because THE TRASH. That's not a place where something that will end up in my mouth should travel.

Mila replied, "It wasn't mine!"

I studied her face. She was pretty joyful about the fact that her toothbrush hadn't been contaminated.

"So was it mine then?" I asked.

Mila paused. I could see her little head doing the mental math and realizing that she had already admitted as much. She thought some more before replying, "No. Of course not, silly. That was Jojo's toothbrush that fell in the trash."

I guess I better burn that toothbrush and go buy a new one because I think Mila admitted she has used it to clean her hamster's teeth.

Small Victories

If you're wondering how good I am at making sure I am not involved in bad choices, I wasn't even home the day that Mila managed to con her way into getting a hamster. I was busy looking at pretty birds at the Aviary with friends, so I didn't set foot in a pet store or help pick a name or anything.

OBVIOUSLY. I only name things after Disney characters. "Jojo" would never have gotten past me.

Regardless, Mila continues to be very excited about this whole thing. She is so excited that she has regressed alllll the way back to SUCKTASTIC when it comes to sleep. Not only has she not slept in her own bed the whole night since that one fateful sleep, she is waking up extra extra extra times and asking to play with the damn hamster. As in, last night at 2:00 she was very convinced that Jojo needed her because he was probably scared of the dark.

If that's true, I might need to give Jojo something to be scared about. Not that I would threaten a hamster or anything ... BUT I MIGHT IF I'M AWAKE AT 2:00 AM AGAIN.

I suspect Jojo feels the same way about the constant lovefest that I do. Mila is going to pet and chase and love and touch and poke and stroke that hamster until it can't stand the sight of humans. She is wearing out her welcome AND HOW. The worst part is that she's super exuberant to the point that she cannot be left unattended around the hamster. She is going to hurt him. Like, I for real am concerned that I will need to buy Jojo a prosthetic leg or two for Christmas. We're on that path right now.

She. Just. Won't. Let. Him. Be.

On one hand, ENOUGH. On the other hand, at least she stayed interested in something for more than 24 hours? Somehow that feels like a victory.