Some Things DO Get Better

One fun thing about the giant age gap between the girls is that generally I've recovered from all the trauma Alexis caused me at a particular age by the time Mila tries to relive that trauma. They're ridiculously different in every way, but EVERY PRESCHOOLER IS INSANE, I TELL YOU.

Ahem.

You probably could have guessed this, but I am terrible at consoling the parents of 3 and 4-year olds. They want to go on about how their kid can't possibly be more difficult and next year is going to be so much better and blah, blah, blah. Kids are always hard, but give me a little kid tantrum over the crap teens bring home any day of the week. I can pick up a kid throwing a tantrum and remove her from the situation. A teen in the midst of something ugly can't just be picked up and redirected. That doesn't mean the preschooler isn't insane; she is. Definitely. I just have coping mechanisms that work with her brand of insane.

The fact that I have coping mechanisms came to me recently because there's a kid Mila knows who is ZOMG SO SHY. She struggles to participate in stuff like basketball or dance or whatever because she wants to stay glued to her mom. She sobs uncontrollably at daycare drop-off and generally would just like to be a leech attached to her mom at all times.

Sound familiar?

I ALREADY BEAT THAT!

Mila has brief moments of getting overwhelmed and not knowing how to cope, but Alexis at that age was OVERWHELMED. Every minute of every day was hard for her because while she wanted to participate and do the things her friends were doing, the world was scary. See also: she would still not have been born given the choice. She was quite content permanently attached to me, thank you very much.

But while Alexis was crippled by shyness when she was little, now she's not. She functions just fine in the world and will even walk up to a total stranger and start a conversation. It took work to get her there, and a whole lot of patience, but as I watch parents of a 3-year go through the exact same battle, I can't help but get just a little bit happy because I'm on the other side of that.

Phew.

At least there's one thing I got right with Alexis. It may be the only thing, but at least it's something.

Charmed, I'm Sure

There’s a lot of words that accurately describe Mila, but I think “charmed” is probably the best. She is REALLY good at charming the pants off of pretty much everyone and she herself is easily charmed. Her enthusiastic love of pretty much everything is just so … charming.

I had a mission. I wanted to take a photo of Mila blowing glitter. There’s a specific photo of Alexis I’d like to recreate, but HOOBOY IS THIS GOING TO BE HARD. Mila was so very excited about being given a moment to hold some glitter in her hands and then being told to blow. Instead of gently blowing and giving me a second to capture the moment, she kept turning into a leaf blower and showering the entire dining room with an explosion of glitter.

Which, by the way, is just about the most fun you can have when you’re four. Thus, Mila would nearly fall over with happiness and joy. So, we’d try it again. I’d say, “One … two … three … little blow!” and Mila would turn on the leaf blower and instantly spray glitter everywhere.

We tried for half an hour.

I didn’t get the photo I was after, but I most certainly got a charmed preschooler. And a _LOT_ of glitter. Everywhere.

Five Months of Self-Inflicted Pain

Sometimes I know what I'm doing. Sometimes I'm an idiot. Alas.

I hit idiot levels on Saturday. As Mila was dancing her little heart out at her weekly dance class (NOT with Daycare Lady, of course), the schedule for summer camps was released. I quickly took a glance because Mila really super enjoyed the My Little Pony dance camp she attended last summer. It's pretty much the thing that made her want to take a class year round.

THERE WAS A MUPPET BABIES CAMP.

This is exciting for two reasons:

1. Mila loves Muppet Babies. She has been watching it On Demand basically every day for months, which is nuts since there are only something like 13 episodes available.

2. I ... don't hate it. The reboot stayed fairly true to the original run of the series and basically isn't annoying. Go back to #1. I think I've seen every episode at least 235987235982 times. For me to say it's not annoying is REALLY saying something.

Thus, when Mila got out of class, I casually mentioned that there was a Muppet Babies dance camp this summer. Like, SUPER casually. I didn't get out the confetti or anything. I just mentioned it in passing as I meandered my way to a totally different and very exciting topic.

Right about now, half of you are nodding knowingly because you know EXACTLY what happened. I screwed up and then some. Go ahead and laugh.

For the half of you that didn't instantly catch on to what happened next, HAHAHAHAHAHA. I got destroyed is what happened. Mila heard, "Muppet Babies dance camp" and took it to mean it was happening right that second and is it time yet? How about now? Now? Can it be time now? HOW ABOUT NOW?

Two days later, Mila has destroyed my will to live. I have signed her up for a dance camp that won't be happening until THE END OF FREAKIN JULY, but the fact that I've signed her up does nothing to relieve me of the constant pestering. I've very likely to not survive the next ... AW, HELL. IT'S FIVE MONTHS AWAY. HOW MANY TIMES WILL SHE ASK IN THE NEXT FIVE MONTHS? I ... can't count that high.

Go ahead and mark "Death by a million Muppet Babies questions" as my cause of death in my obituary. It's coming. Possibly soon.