Making Plans. BIG Plans.

I don't know when my own kid is talking to me.

I'm earning the daily Best Parenting award for that fact because Mila is in a phase where she never. stops. talking. But, she genuinely isn't talking to me some of the time. She has long conversations with a multitude of people I can't see. I like to think she keeps tiny humans in her Tiny Human pockets because if anyone would collect miniature humans, it's Mila.

She's wandering around having conversations with invisible people, but apparently I'm supposed to be involved in these conversations, I just can't hear all sides of the story. We will be driving down the road and Mila will be talking talking talking talking talking talking talking "Right, mom?" I don't know what to do when it happens. Do I nod and agree and hope I didn't just guarantee a pony? Do I ask her to repeat? Oh, wait, doing that might mean that one of the other people who are apparently in the conversation might have to do the repeating and THEN WHAT?

I'm so lost so much of the time.

Tonight's random conversations that I only half heard, maybe by design and maybe not WHO KNOWS, involved a shopping list. We need to go buy the stuff to build a treehouse, some new dresses with kitties on them, and a baby brother.

"We need to go to the baby store and buy a baby brother." I still don't know if I'm supposed to do the driving, Mila is hitching a ride with her invisible friends, or what. If a male infant comes up missing in the next few days, we'll know she did it. We'll also know that I will have no clue because I'm not listening when my kid tells me things.

Allosaurus Was Here

If you are a human with eyes, you are aware that the potholes are taking over the universe. They're multiplying faster than a bunch of 4th graders rattling off the answers to math problems. They are EVERYWHERE.

The nonstop rain all weekend made them worse. They're everywhere + infinity right now. And they're filled with water so you can't really see them.

Alexis, of course, has all of the opinions about my new habit of driving suuuuuper carefully so I don't drive off a cliff and into a deep pothole. Some of them are big enough to swallow my car whole and I'm not willing to take the risk. For some reason, the kid that frequently reminds me to obey the speed limit has a problem with me driving below it.

Weird.

The other kid has no problems with anything because if I do drive off of a pothole cliff, it's going to be fun going down. Can we blow a tire while we're at it? Because then a big truck might show up to fix it and that would be SO fun. Bonus points if tools are involved.

That is exactly why it is no surprise that the younger sister found herself standing in the middle of the street, carefully studying a pothole. We were in Oakland on our way to the library, so I was pretty insistent that we shouldn't hang out in the street, but whatever. Mila is her own person. It's better to see her perspective and then try to adapt with it.

So we took advantage of a well-timed red light and stopped to look at a pothole. It's like stopping to smell the roses, except that it comes with a little adrenaline because WHAT IF THE KID DECIDES TO JUMP IN? Will you be able to stop her? Do you have a boat big enough to sail all the way over to her? If you do manage to stop her, will it be worth it when she screams in anger for three days? These are all the sorts of questions I have at these types of events.

Fortunately, Mila didn't jump into the pothole. It's really good that she didn't because I think it may have been big enough for her to fall to China. Instead of falling through the Earth's core, though, Mila turned to me and with charm oozing from her every inch of being said, "Ook! It's a dinosaur pool!"

Yes. It's true. The potholes are big enough for the dinosaurs to go for a swim.

Mixed Berry Ring

A really magical thing has happened recently - Alexis has begun using the recipes I post here all on her own. She has made dinner twice in the past week using recipes she knew she could find and cookies. COOKIES. There were chocolate chip cookies in my house yesterday and I did nothing.

Basically, I need to get back to posting recipes routinely so that Alexis can cook for me and stuff.

HEY, ALEXIS. Since you ate six pieces of this and I only got one, GET ON IT. While you're at it, come up with a better name for it, too. I have a case of the lazies.

Mixed Berry Ring

1 package refrigerated crescent rolls
Blueberries
Strawberries, hulled and halved
Blackberries (the goal is to end up with 1 1/2 cups of fruit - mix it up as you see fit)
6 tablespoons water
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

2. Start by making some mixed berry sauce magic. Toss a couple of blackberries, sliced strawberries, and blueberries in a saucepan -- you're not using all of the fruit. Literally just a handful of it. Add the water and sugar, stir, and heat until the blueberries begin to pop.

In a small cup, mix the cornstarch with a spoonful of water then pour it into the berry mix. Add the vanilla extract as well. Stir it all up, smash some berries with the back of the spoon, and you should end up with a beautiful, thick mixed berry sauce.

3. Set that aside to cool. Place some parchment paper on a large baking sheet and arrange the crescent rolls into a star.

4. Place the unused fruit into the sauce. Stir. You're adding raw fruit to cooked fruit because it helps keep the baking time sane while also keeping things from getting too mushy.

5. Gently scoop the mixed berries into a circle around the center of the crescent roll star. Take the points up and over the berries and tuck them into the middle.

6. Sprinkle a bit of sugar on top of the whole thing. Don't worry if it isn't perfectly pretty. It will still taste amazing.

7. Say hi to your supervisor.

8. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until lightly browned.

9. Allow to cool for 5 minutes before cutting. If Alexis is anywhere around, you might want to hurry up and eat a ton of it. Once she shows up, it's all over.

10. Plan for a chocolate, marshmallow, and banana version because Mila said it out loud and now it needs to happen.