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Monday
Feb122018

Allosaurus Was Here

If you are a human with eyes, you are aware that the potholes are taking over the universe. They're multiplying faster than a bunch of 4th graders rattling off the answers to math problems. They are EVERYWHERE.

The nonstop rain all weekend made them worse. They're everywhere + infinity right now. And they're filled with water so you can't really see them.

Alexis, of course, has all of the opinions about my new habit of driving suuuuuper carefully so I don't drive off a cliff and into a deep pothole. Some of them are big enough to swallow my car whole and I'm not willing to take the risk. For some reason, the kid that frequently reminds me to obey the speed limit has a problem with me driving below it.

Weird.

The other kid has no problems with anything because if I do drive off of a pothole cliff, it's going to be fun going down. Can we blow a tire while we're at it? Because then a big truck might show up to fix it and that would be SO fun. Bonus points if tools are involved.

That is exactly why it is no surprise that the younger sister found herself standing in the middle of the street, carefully studying a pothole. We were in Oakland on our way to the library, so I was pretty insistent that we shouldn't hang out in the street, but whatever. Mila is her own person. It's better to see her perspective and then try to adapt with it.

So we took advantage of a well-timed red light and stopped to look at a pothole. It's like stopping to smell the roses, except that it comes with a little adrenaline because WHAT IF THE KID DECIDES TO JUMP IN? Will you be able to stop her? Do you have a boat big enough to sail all the way over to her? If you do manage to stop her, will it be worth it when she screams in anger for three days? These are all the sorts of questions I have at these types of events.

Fortunately, Mila didn't jump into the pothole. It's really good that she didn't because I think it may have been big enough for her to fall to China. Instead of falling through the Earth's core, though, Mila turned to me and with charm oozing from her every inch of being said, "Ook! It's a dinosaur pool!"

Yes. It's true. The potholes are big enough for the dinosaurs to go for a swim.

Feb18 012

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