Stop and Kick the Snowflakes

Toddlers are the ultimate in sunshine on a snowy day, and not just because you know they're going to do something nuts that you can laugh at. They're also delightful just because SNOW. OMG SNOW.

You guys, Mila loves snow. The second she peers out the windows and spots a single flake, she starts wandering around the house asking, "Do you want to build a snowman?" I'm not joking. She asks everyone, but she most especially asks Alexis. And then I die. Because awesomeness.

(You're welcome for the earworm.) (What's that? You made it through a Frozen reference without getting the song stuck in your head? TEACH ME YOUR WAYS, OH WISE ONE.)

This morning was no different. There were several inches of snow on the ground when Mila woke up, so she rushed through getting dressed, put on her boots and gloves, and was ready to hit the slopes. The only problem was that there simply wasn't time to build a snowman this morning, so before we went out the door, I warned Mila. I explained that there would be bribery involved if she handled the "no snowman" thing with grace and hoped for the best.

She took the news with grace. She told me we would build a snowman after school, which was a completely reasonable compromise, and then started her way out the front door.

She made it two steps before her face lit up and she picked up one of her feet. "Look at my feet!" she declared.

"I see your feeet! There's snow on them!" I replied. The first rule of toddlers is to do whatever the toddler wants you to do. The second rule of toddlers is to refer to rule one.

Mila smiled from ear to ear and then took another few steps. "Look at my feet!" she proclaimed again as she picked up her other foot.

We repeated that little process

all

the

way

to

the

car.

Twenty minutes. TWENTY MINUTES.

I was late for a meeting because of the pure bliss that was rediscovering how fun it is when snow gets stuck to your boots and it was absolutely worth it.

Can we get a foot or two of snow? I have a feeling that building a snow fort would be even better than a snowman.

Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite

Sometimes her words are meant for me. Other times they are sent floating into the air, random molecules intended for no one in particular. They're words that belong in a world only she can see.

Mila has found herself deeply entrenched in the Make Believe Phase.

It's delightful, really. Tiny people talking to a doll that won't reply is all of the adorable, especially when the tiny people ask things like, "Did you poop? Yes? Ooooh! That's disgusting!" Mila's make believe world is full of empathy and concern and humor, which makes me think perhaps she isn't going to eventually set the world on fire.

Well, maybe. There's no doubt that she will be a woman who persists. Let's just hope the world figures out how to deal with women who persist before she learns how to light a match.

For now, I find myself trying to jump in and out of the Make Believe World. Mila pulls me in then jumps out and then we're back in again, often without many hints as to what is happening. When there's a doll around, I can follow, but sometimes the words are a bit more random.

Tonight, as we pulled into the parking lot to pick up her big sister, Mila was off in her Make Believe World. I have no idea what she was saying because it was her Make Believe Language. Suddenly she flipped to English, though, and I tuned in.

At first Mila talked about what she wanted for dinner. "Egg and cheese muffin" is almost always her preference, and you go right ahead and judge me for taking the kid to McDonald's with some regularity. It's her favorite and she eats it and there is happiness so whatever. Judge away.

The talk about dinner ended as abruptly as it started. Mila's attention turned to something totally different -- bed time. She told me she wanted to wear her Wonder Woman pajamas and that she needed a blanket and

oh

she dropped a few words that were ... interesting.

"There are bugs in your bed, momma."

"No there's not. Do you mean in your crib?" I replied.

"No, there's bugs in your bed. They're icky," she retorted.

Mila has a firm grasp on pronouns at this point. She knew when she said "your" that she was telling me to never sleep again.

"There are no bugs in the bed, Mila," I said.

"Yes there are. The bugs are sleeping in your bed. They were tired."

Mila went on and on about the bugs. An hour later, she was still mentioning the bugs in my bed. They have a lot of legs. They're brown. They bite. Was it make believe? Was it real? THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW.

It's cool, y'all. I don't actually need to sleep ever again anyway.

Paybacks, Man

I am incredibly patient with my friend Karma. I really can count on her to make things right, it just takes time.

For the record, sometimes she comes after me. She's just making things right when she does that, though. It's fine.

It's also fine when she goes after my girls. They certainly haven't been totally innocent in their lives, so I maybe sort of enjoy it when Karma pays them back for their sins.

Hi, Alexis.

Alexis has spent her entire life stealing from me. She's sort of getting better these days, but if you go back to when she was a toddler, GAH. If I had food, she would look at me with wide eyes and sweetly beg until I handed it over to her. If I had a drink, she would innocently blink at me until I passed it her way. Then she would chew my straw until it was impossible to continue drinking that drink before she would hand it back and go back to trying to steal my food.

I always knew Karma would find her for all of that. I kind-of-sort-of-maybe looked forward to that day in the distant future when she would call me to complain about her own kids doing the exact same thing. Oh, how I would laugh and laugh and laugh. It was going to be great.

Even greater is that I didn't have to wait for that phone call because Mila. MILA! Mila is Karma's best friend because she walks around paying people back for all they've done in the past. Considering she is literally a Tiny Human, she can do an amazing job of making people pay.

Today the girls managed to talk me into running to Starbucks. Then they continued to gang up on me and demand frappucinos. I'm not THAT nice, so I bought them one to share instead of each their own.

Guess who wouldn't share.

And guess who chewed that straw until it was closed up tight.

And guess who was sooooooo very annoyed.

I couldn't stop laughing. Alexis whined and complained and generally acted the fool because she was all of the annoyed that Mila did all the things that Alexis once did.

I love you, Karma.