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Die in a Fire, Daylight Saving Time

There is a thing that I do not comprehend. How is it that small people who do not AT ALL understand the concept of time end up being completely screwed up over the time change? HOW? More importantly, how do I make it stop?

Alexis is mostly unfazed by the whole debacle at this point. It messed her up when she was a baby and toddler, but mostly she's cool now. Mila, she who is still 3 years old even though it seems like she has been here forever, is a TOTAL AND COMPLETE MESS. Alexis was never this bad. Mila is a train wreck of badness with awful frosting and a terrible cherry on top.

This time around, it started with Mila apparently finding a Redbull and some speed hidden under the couch cushions on Saturday night. I have no other explanation for why she was impersonating the ball in a pinball machine. Except, she was the multiball. There may only be one of her, but she was bouncing around so haphazardly that I think there were actually 6 of her. It was like that scene in The Matrix when he moves so fast he can grab a bullet out of the air. She was flying around and trashing the place like it was her job, and she did it waaaaay late into the evening.

She is normally a pretty good go-to-bedder. Not when clocks are going to change, though. The mere hint of a time change is enough to wind her up for DAYS. And then she crashes like the Kool-Aid Man through a glass wall. (Instagram has proof of the nightmare.)

Once she finally did go to bed, she slept like crap. It's as if she knew! And then she woke up waaaaaaay too early on Sunday. And then she was a hot mess all day long.

We repeated the cycle Sunday night. She was plenty tired, but she couldn't have slept if her life depended on it. She woke up just about every hour screaming about something or other and ... I'm toast. Now I am the one who can't handle the clocks changing.

AND YET. This is the same kid who can't even think in terms of "one Sesame Street" or "one Paw Patrol." She just doesn't get anything that has to do with the concept of time, not even short periods of time. How does someone who can't figure out what an hour is end up so screwed up when you take one of her hours away? IT MAKES NO SENSE.

March18 008


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