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How to Hockey, According to Alexis

There's a part of me that thinks maybe we should move to Cleveland and become Browns fans because HOLY CATS my kids are spoiled. Alexis does not know life cheering for a team that sucks. Between Superbowls and dances with Lord Stanley and even the Pirates in the playoffs, she's used to winning.

And Mila. Heck, the Stanley Cup has been in Pittsburgh most of Mila's life. She literally does not remember life before it.

Fortunately for the girls, I'm not actually mean enough to put them through cheering for the Browns. I have genuine sadness for Browns fans because everyone should get that desperate feeling of hope for a championship in their life. For real. I would like the Browns to make the playoffs at some point in the near future. I can't even manage to dislike them when they're as bad as they have been in recent years.


The good news is that while the girls are spoiled, they also seem to more or less "get it." Age factors until they're level of understanding, of course, but let me just say that Alexis hockeys better than a whooooooole lot of people.

Case in point: she watched Game 6 with me. She saw that absolutely blown call that took the Preds goal away and she knew it was the right call. Like, she knew that play stops when the whistle blows, she heard the whistle, and she knew the goal was going to be called back.

(You're welcome, future partners. We have done an excellent job of schooling Alexis on the finer things. Enjoy.)

So, Alexis called that the goal wouldn't count and she thusly was SUPER confused when she found out Preds fans were complaining about it.

"Mom, don't they know the officiating is always bad in hockey?"


She continued her rant by pointing out that the bad officiating hurts everyone equally in the end. Like, it all washes. They blow one play for one team, but then they flip it to the other way later. But. but ... BUT!

The best.

The absolute best part is that in response to Nashville fans crying that the officials were why the Predators lost, Alexis said, "But they had two other periods to score. They even had a five on three! They totally had a fair chance to win and they didn't."

So. There. That is how you hockey, Nashville. Look to the eleven year old girl in my house for guidance because she's got this whole thing figured out.


(P.S. Later she mentioned that they only hockey fans that are justified in hating the Penguins are Capitals fans so clearly the kid has been paying a whole lot of attention. WHO KNEW?)

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Reader Comments (1)

My dad and brother are both diehard Browns fans, my dad because he is born and bred in Ohio, my brother because that's how he was raised lol.

I'm a Capitals fan, so I hate that the penguins won again.

June 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGeena
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