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I Really Need a Documented Process

You can't have any stuffed animals because Mila has them all. Every stuffed animal in the while wide world is stuffed into her tiny little toddler bed. I don't know how they all fit there; I just know that they do.


We're several weeks into this thing where Mila says she wants to sleep in her own bed but hahaha jk lol no she doesn't. She wants to start there and then wakes up screaming if she realizes I'm no longer sitting in the chair in her room. She has yet to make through an entire night in her own bed, which is great since she only sleeps when she has all of the stuffed animals in the whole world with her.

I want you to picture how that works when she decides she's moving down the hall at 2:00 am. It's every bit as awful as you think it is. There is waking up and screaming, and then there is a fight while I tell her to pick one to take with her but she somehow manages to shove 3489137419 stuffed animals down her pants and up her shirt and what's that in your mouth, Mila? A giant stuffed llama? Of course. I should have known.

Honestly, I could probably deal with the fact that I have to move an entire congregation of stuffed things every night, but then they have to go back to Mila's room and get tucked back into her toddler bed.

Every one of them.

In a very specific sequence.

The llama, Raggedy Ann, and E.T. are allowed on the pillow, but everybody else better back off. The Minion has to be at the foot of the bed, but don't let the bear touch the Minion because that would be awful. Don't ask me how I know all of these rules because frankly they change. The rules are brand new and wildly different every day. You're supposed to just know them. Why don't you know the rules?


There's a reason some species eat their young. I might be close to figuring it out.

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