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Monday
Apr232018

Just Jokes

Alexis has gotten herself up, dressed, and off to school every day for ... well, basically her entire life. She first figured out how to set her own alarm in kindergarten and she's basically been self-sufficient since. I don't mention this to brag. No worries there, I will get what's coming to me eventually. Her name is Mila and that child is NEVER going to do that, trust me. Rather, I say that to frame the fact that ZOMG. ALEXIS SCREWED UP.

It has happened exactly once before. The other time I remember it happening I realized she wasn't awake like 10 minutes after her alarm was supposed to throw her out of bed. It all worked out fine, of course, because 10 minutes is nothing when you're a worrier who gets up an extra half hour early every day just in case.

Oh, yes. Alexis is one of THOSE people. I bet she will be a spreadsheet queen who has lists of every task and can track every minute of her every day. She's a preparer and such.

But this morning she screwed up. And I didn't notice she screwed up until after I had Mila sitting in front of a television with a bowl of cereal (my carbs plan FAILED, but apparently throwing three different kinds of cereal into a bowl creates a cloud of confusion). That means I turned on Alexis' light to say, "Hey, you planning to get up?" at the exact moment that her bus was driving through the neighborhood.

Panic ensued.

The good news is that I was ready to run out the door 10 minutes later. I don't really know how that happened, but apparently I can get ready faster when I focus? I dunno. I'm one of those people who has never in their life gotten up a half hour earlier than necessary because WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT? I'd rather hit snooze 7 times and cut out half of what I should do because I should be asleep. All day.

Alexis was also ready that fast. She's good like that.

And then there's Mila. Mila was all, "Noooope. I have not yet watched the entire season of Boss Baby on Netflix, therefore we cannot possibly leave this house." I threatened her that I would put her in the car in her pajamas if she didn't get dressed and ... I ended up putting her in the car in her pajamas.

Two things happened. One, Mila discovered that I don't bluff. I have high hopes that it's a lesson that will serve her well in the future. Two, Mila discovered that I DON'T BLUFF. She was stunned by this revelation. Absolutely totally and completely stunned. That led to my most favorite sister conversation ever. As we were driving to school to drop Alexis off (on time, I might add!), Mila was carrying on about how she was wearing her pajamas and WTF IS THIS, PEOPLE.

"Mom told you to get dressed, Mila," Alexis lectured. "She told you that you would have to wear pajamas if you didn't," she continued.

Mila had exactly one response to Alexis' lecture. "I THOUGHT SHE WAS TELLING JOKES," she yelled.

I tell WAY better jokes than that, Mila. C'mon.

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