Problem Solving at its Best

Tuesday

Mar202018

Mila attending her first birthday party has opened up all of the cans of worms. First I can’t figure out if I’m supposed to stay or what, and then there’s the whole gift-finding thing. OMG I FORGOT HOW HARD IT IS.

How did I forget that? Or did I purposely block it from my memory?

Mila knew exactly why we were at Target. She was there to select one $20 or less item for her bestie. She knew that, but she forgot it every 1.0007 seconds. “Can I have this?” “This looks fun!” “I want this!” WE ARE NOT SHOPPING FOR YOU, CHILD.

Then, when she finally did remember that she was shopping for her friend, it turned into a game of Supermarket Sweep. Mila ran up and down the aisles as quickly as she could, grabbing everything in sight and tossing it in the cart. She tossed approximately 11235409586353981 toys over her shoulder, yelled, “This is perfect!” and then ran on to try to find the hams and laundry detergent. It was INTENSE.

Once the cart was full, I asked her to try to pick one thing. I asked her to pick one out of two things (instead of one out of all) because I’ve met her. I didn’t want to melt her brain. No matter, her reply was “My friend wants them both!” Forget about narrowing it down to one thing out of a sea of choices.

It was time to help. “What does your friend play with when you’re at school?” I asked.

“She plays with me,” Mila replied.

Technically true, but not what I was after.

“What toys do the two of you play with?” I asked.

“All of them,” Mila replied.

Also probably technically true. Still not what I was after.

“What toy do you play with the most?” I asked.

“Whatever my friend wants to play with,” she replied.

That one was my fault. I should have made it clearer I meant “you” as in “you and your friend” rather than the singular. I blame English for being dumb and not having plural ”you” (unless we’re counting y’all or yinz, but even that is in inexact science).

I decided to try another angle. I decided an animal toy would be best/easier. We would just go find the little animatronic pets and call it a day. “Does your friend like cats, dogs, or birds?” I asked.

“Yes,” Mila replied.

Ugh. WHY IS ENGLISH SO HARD?

“Okay, Mila, which toy do you think your friend will like best?” I asked.

“She can just give me the toys she doesn’t want. It’s okay!” Mila replied.

And there it was. Her real plan for world toy domination.