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Wednesday
Oct102018

Pass the Duct Tape

Heeeey. So. There's this thing that I'm perfectly willing to admit -- I'm TERRIBLE at being sick. I'm worse than most any man when I'm legit sick which is, as we all know, TERRIBLE. The thing is that I rarely get sick (I can type those words and will not magically get sick. Not being sick is my superpower.). It's so rare that I don't get any practice so I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO MISERY SADNESS BLUUUUUURGH I WILL SHARE.

I share my misery. It's fun.

Alexis seems to have almost gotten my immune system. She gets sick about once per year and it's fine,. Mostly it's fine because while I don't know how to deal with my own sick, I definitely don't know how to deal with others. Why do you do that, mortals? Why do you get sick? I'm not going to do anything about it. Why do you think I should? Just go over there and keep your sick to yourself.

Alexis is super independent. It's a real good thing.

Mila, though. Mila is a completely different beast. SHE HAS MY SUPERPOWER. I legitimately can't remember the last time she had a cold. I know it's been more than a year since she went to the pediatrician for anything other than a physical, and I'm thinking it might be closer to two years. She got sick a few times in her first two years of life, but since then, she's definitely been my kid.

IN EVERY WAY.

Miss Mila seems to have found a cold. It's nothing major - a little sniffling and coughing, mostly. But HOLY COW YOU WOULD THINK SHE IS DYING. She could not possibly find a way to be more dramatic about the whole thing. Everything is terrible and awful and waaaaaaaaaaaaah.

That last sentence is a solid summary of 1:00 am to 3:50 am this morning. Mila woke up for no good reason and she was terrible and awful and waaaaaaaaaaah. She was congested and her ear hurt, maybe? Maybe not? I'm not really sure because she's a drama queen and a half about pain, so it could have been that tiny flea landed near her ear and then left and she was still feeling the effects of its feet gently tickling her ear. In her head, gentle tickling and slamming with a sledgehammer are totes the same. So.

The kid screamed and yelled, but when I said I would go get her some medicine, she was all, "THE HELL YOU WILL." She wouldn't let me leave, but she also wouldn't go with me, and basically she was awake for nearly three hours for no reason other than to yell at me because she was awake. How dare I let her be awake and telling her to go to sleep. She would be asleep! If I would let her! Stop telling her to sleep!

She's so bad at being sick. So very bad.

I'm going to need some duct tape tonight. You can never be too safe, y'know?

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